Top 20 Reasons Why Rivetheads Aren’t Popular
- They dress too cool for the local populace. How can those lovely people in adidas tops, or even Type O Negative t-shirts hope to obtain their standard? They dress like either a) homophobic Goths, b) refugees from ‘Mad Max’ or c) (and my personal preference) characters out of ‘The Matrix’. Society responds by calling Rivetheads ‘Freaks!’, ‘Morpheus!’ or telling them that they look like Angel from ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’. Fortunately these people often wake up in the hospital with nine one-inch nails stuck in their scalps.
- When someone drops some saucepans, they say, ‘That sounded cool!’
- Second-hand car dealers do not trust people who claim that their car is worth more than the offered price, because it was hand built by Jesus.
- Most women do not find ‘I want to fuck you like an animal’ a particularly inviting chat-up line.
- Rivetheads will not accept that nobody else has heard of Pop Will Eat Itself.
- Most of them are closet Prodigy fans.
- When somebody calls them a ‘fucker’ or ’son-of-a-bitch’ or ‘cunt’ in a club, they will respond by calling them a ‘Filth Pig’ and feel pretty pleased with themselves.
- Nobody likes somebody who sits in the corner of the club twitching and occasionally shouting ‘Ding ding dang a dong a dong ding dong’.
- Very few of them actually have rivets for heads or anywhere else on their body.
- They hang about with Goths way too much (though this is often against their will.)
- They spend most of their time on the internet perusing Sillygoth.com.
- When asked to stick a mellow song on the stereo, they choose “The Fall” by Ministry. If they’re feeling very, very mellow, usually they’ll just stick on some NIN remixes and start dancing like the Tasmanian Devil. If they request a mellow song, they will reject everything offered until “
- They feel the same way about Rob Zombie that a
- They feel the same way about Trent Reznor that Christians do Jesus Christ.
- They would agree with the statement from a goth: “Rivet Heads are so stupid they couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag without destroying it”.
- Rivet heads wear military clothing as a fashion statement regardless of ever serving or not (I guess mum’s combat boots did finally find a use after all this time!).
- I spent all this time writing this, and most of them will only laugh at number eight.
- Rivets are actually infatuated with the Gothic Culture but act like they hate it because they look shitty in a corset.
- They say they’ll give you twenty reasons why Rivetheads are unpopular, and then only give you nineteen.
As Always, Here is A Fix.
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POSTED IN: Monday Insight
9 opinions for Top 20 Reasons Why Rivetheads Aren’t Popular
amd
Mar 3, 2008 at 5:46 pm
i’ve been a skater, a punk, a goth, a rivethead, a raver, a cyberpunk, and a lazy ass normal person in jeans and a girly babydoll tee, and i’ve almost never laughed harder than i did at this post. brilliant.
industrialia
Jun 14, 2008 at 4:59 pm
you may think that, but my girlfriend was only a tad bit offended when I said “I’m going to fuck you like a animal!” and my girlfriend is a Goth. And Goths do not hate Rivetheads. By the way, wikihow sterotypes Rivetheads. A Black/Grey Baseball Jersey, A pair of Red/Black Tripp Shorts and a pair of leather boots is the true Rivethead outfit. Speaking of which, I might wear that tomorrow.
Ambient Decay
Jun 18, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Heya Industrialia,
Just to clear things up I think perhaps you misread reason #4 wrong. Here is it “Most women do not find ‘I want to fuck you like an animal’ a particularly inviting chat-up line.”
Also, this post was just fun and games… any goth would be rolling and smirk at this post; many have.
As for WikiHow, that is just like many other sites that are run by people and they do tend to have more errors than anything else. Especially when it comes to trying to define a stereotype.
Goths, Rivits, Punks, Emo’s, and any other stereotype can be defined by anything they do out of societies norms and change very quickly.
Then again, I love Tripp pants but I don’t wear them all the time and they DO NOT make a person goth. All they do is hide your legs :P.
Thanks for your comment!
ministrybitch666
Jun 24, 2008 at 8:30 pm
MINISTRY!
amd
Jun 27, 2008 at 9:04 pm
i love tripp clothing. especially the pants that zip off into shorts, because they’re dual-function (and mine are blue stitching, not red. take THAT wiki!) and they’re comfy to dance (stomp, bellydance, two-step, whatever) in! but i hardly wear my tripp clothing, either. it’s too hot in the summer for my strapped jacket, and the pants are usually too heavy for summer in ny, too.
and don’t mess with the leather boots. i wear my knee-high 20-hole black leather steel-toe gripfasts with pink girly dresses!
this post remains the best thing i’ve gotten a kick out of this year :)
Ambient Decay
Jun 28, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Haha That is ROCKIN amd!
I’m glad you enjoy this post so much! I agree with the weather being way to fricking hot for tripps. It’s more so annoying since I can’t wear those shorts to my “day job”
Hrm. Maybe I should put a post and see what everyone does wear for their Gothic/Rivet/Industrial outfits. (Maybe I’ll find some new outfits!)
@MinistryBitch666
- Hell yeah some MINISTRY! Speaking of, I need to make a playlist and see if I can hook it up to my works’ speakers… Customers would get a kick out of it for sure!
ministrybitch666
Jul 3, 2008 at 5:57 pm
ding a dang dong my ding a dang ling long
ministrybitch666
Jul 3, 2008 at 5:58 pm
dang a long
amd
Jul 6, 2008 at 7:47 pm
not to start an argument, but ‘rubber glove seduction’ is a far superior song.
as for wearing tripp shorts to work… i can! because they fall below the knee on me, and that’s the rule for bottomwear in my supposedly non-dress-code work environment. i was even wearing my septum piercing exposed before i went out on disability for a billion years. but i don’t know… rivet gear isn’t exactly corporate-america friendly, so good luck finding alternative gear that fits the fashion and you can get away with at work while still looking stylishly angry!
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